


A life with love, is a life that's been lived

by foreverfelicityqueen (stydiasredstring)



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: 5x23 spec fic, Arrow Speculation fic, Character Death, F/M, Family Feels, Gen, Sadness, Things get happier, because i am horrible, so like happy mother's day, sort of, this is not a happy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-10-31 14:25:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10901202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stydiasredstring/pseuds/foreverfelicityqueen
Summary: Chase had been defeated, but at what cost? He took so much effort to destroy Oliver's life, and those he holds dear. And sometimes even when someone is beat, they still win a little.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a speculation fic set after 5x23. And because it's Mother's Day and I was listening to Supermarket Flowers by Ed Sheeran. Not a good combo for me. But this happened so, yay?
> 
> Don't kill me. I also don't own arrow, or Ed Sheeran

He didn’t know how to fix this. There were words that could be said, affirmations that could help. But Oliver knew none of these. Staring at his son, sitting and praying to whoever may be listening to spar his mother’s life, Oliver felt utterly lost. Until her hand found his.

Felicity’s fingers laced against the back of his hand, grounding him like a tether to the earth. She had always been that for him, the one who kept him centered when the world spun out of control.

“The doctor was in again,” she whispered, trying to keep most of the bad stuff from finding their way to William’s ears. But they couldn’t protect him from the truth much longer. “He said she’s getting weaker.”

“I know,” he leaned forward, his other hand scrubbing it’s way down his stubble. He hadn’t been home to shave in days, not since before his birthday party. It seemed like a lifetime ago. “The infection was likely to spread, and the bleeding. It was too much.”

“Don’t blame yourself for this.” Her words pleaded with him, her hand gripping his like he would disappear if she let go. And he couldn’t fault her for that. Hospital’s and Oliver usually resulted in him running.

“I don’t,” he tried to lie, but when he looked at her he couldn’t. “I mean not fully. I blame Chase, he did this to us. But if I had just been honest. If I had just been brave enough to keep him in my life, maybe…”

“Maybe Chase would have found a worse way to hurt our family.” It wasn’t the first time she had said it over the last week. And every time the words left her lips, he could feel his heart soothe, Even if it only lasted the length of her sentence, he knew they’d be okay, someday.

“I don’t know how to tell him,” he rubbed the tears from his eyes. “When I found you guys on the island, I told William I would do everything in my power to get him and Samantha home safe. I don’t want my son to remember I broke the first promise I ever made to him.”

“Oliver he’ll understand,” she placed her hand on his cheek, cradling his face close to hers. “It may take some time, but he watched you. He knows you did everything you could to get us all home.”

“I know you're right,” he let his forehead fall against hers, the strength she emitted seeped into him. “I do.”

“He still has time to say goodbye,” she whispered, her voice catching as she did. “How many times have we all wished we could have that chance. He needs to know.”

William’s footsteps shuffled towards them, Felicity pulled back from him, giving his son as bright a smile as she could muster. Any other time and the sight would make him pause and think about their future. But his son was looking at him, his eyes full of sadness and trauma that no one should ever have to deal with, especially an eleven year old.

“Hey buddy,” Oliver said, the lump growing in his throat. “Can you come sit here a sec?”

William hesitated. He was wary of Oliver still, and barely wanted to address him. But by some miracle his son had taken a liking to Felicity. So when she scooted over, he took the spot between them, leaning against her arm as he faced Oliver.

“Is this about my mom?”

Oliver didn’t try to mask his emotions, gone were the days when he thought he had to hold everything in for the sake of his loved ones.

“Yeah it is,” he began, taking a deep breath. “William, your mom. The injuries she got when Chase had you guys, they aren’t getting better.”

His son was still against Felicity’s side, the only sign he had heard Oliver was his gaze shifting to lock onto the cross at the front of the small chapel.

“She’s gonna die.”

He wanted nothing more than to wrap his son in his arms, and hide him from all this, but he also knew William deserved the truth. “They don’t think she’ll make it, no. But there’s time, to see her if you want.”

His eyes snapped to Oliver’s, the tears held back only because William refused to blink. “Is she in pain?”

“The doctors have her on a lot of medicine, so she’s not in pain sweetheart,” Felicity explained, her hand resting on his shoulder. “She’s only awake a little bit. But if you want to say goodbye, it would be better to do it soon.”

“What if I don’t?” he said, his voice so small, but it almost echoed in the room. “What if I can’t? Will she hate me?”

“Your mom could never hate you,” Oliver said, his placed his hand on William’s cheek. “Nothing you could ever do would make your mother love you any less than she always has.”

“But she’s still dying,” he looked up, his tears falling hard against Oliver’s fingers. “She said she wouldn’t leave. She said she’d fight as hard as she could to stay with me.”

“William,” Felicity breathed, dropping a kiss to his son’s head. “Your mom, is so strong, she held on the whole time we were on the island, and the whole way back here. And do you know why?”

He shook his head.

“She did that, because she didn’t want you to lose her there,” Felicity reached over, taking Oliver’s free hand in hers. “Your mom fought to make it back here, but sometimes people fight as hard as they can and they still lose. It doesn’t mean she loves you any less, it just means…”

“It just means she gave everything she had so you could go on in her place,” Oliver added, images of his own parents kaleidoscoping through his mind. “If you don’t think you can see her, that’s okay. There’s not a right or a wrong here. And I don’t want you to think that if you don’t, you’ll regret it one day. But you can if you want to.”

He pursed his lips together, and it was a few minutes of the three of them sitting close before William spoke again. “I think I want to see her.”

“Okay,” Oliver said, letting his hand slid to his son’s shoulder. “If you’re sure?”

“I don’t know if I can say goodbye.” His tears were coming hard again, as he dropped against Oliver’s chest.

“Don’t think of it as goodbye.” He wrapped his arms around his son, holding him as close as he thought he could without breaking the boy. “She’ll always be with you.”

He looked over to Felicity, taking her hand in his. William needed his strength right now, and Oliver needed Felicity’s.

“Will you both come with me?” William asked, as he pulled back. “I can’t do it alone.”

“You’re never alone,” Felicity said, smoothing his hair down, and giving Oliver a sad smile. “Not while you got us, kid.”

“Thanks.”

William stood, walking the aisle towards the door of the chapel, Felicity moved to follow him but Oliver caught her hand before she could go.

“Oliver? What?”

“I love you,” he whispered, as he stood up. “I love you for the person you are, and the kindness in your heart.”

She rose up on her toes, placing a kiss soft against his cheek. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Thank you,” he said with the same earnest.

“I love you too,” she replied, taking his hand in hers.

He didn’t know what would happen tomorrow. He couldn’t predict what Samantha’s death might do to their son. But he knew that as long as he had Felicity by his side, he could get through whatever life threw at them next.

They lead William down the halls towards Samantha’s room, his son’s steps growing slower the closer they got.

John and Donna sat outside the room when they arrived, the pair speaking softly together. He didn’t know who was more surprised to see her him or Felicity. But the second her eyes landed on them, he could see the faintest crumble of Felicity’s strength.

“Oh sweetheart,” Donna stood, pulling her daughter into a tight hug, and sending a smile to Oliver. “Don’t be mad, but Quentin called me.”

“I’m not mad,” Felicity said, as she pulled back. “It’s good to see you Mom.”

William had pressed himself against Oliver’s side,something he didn’t do often.

“William, this is Felicity’s mom,” Oliver said, placing both his hands on his son’s shoulders, using the contact to steady them both. “Donna, this is my son, William.”

Donna lowered herself to William’s level, a smile on her face. “Of course you are, those piercing blue eyes are so obviously genetic.”

William gave her a half smile, but his gaze slid up to Oliver, looking for guidance.

“We’re gonna go see Samantha,” Oliver looked over at John and his friend nodded.

“The nurse just did her vitals,” he said, standing to pull Donna back a few steps. “Said she might be awake in a few minutes.”

“Thank--”

“Cut that out,” Digg shook his head. “You don’t thank family.”

Oliver took a step forward, causing William to walk with him to the door. But his son stopped, looking over his shoulder at Felicity. He was pleading with her to follow, but Oliver could also see his son didn’t want to voice it.

“Mom, we can talk later,” Felicity said kissing Donna’s cheek. “I promise.”

He reached back to her, pulling her close as they walked into the hospital room.

The room itself wasn’t cold. But the temperature felt like it dropped all the same when they stepped inside.

William’s eyes found Samantha quickly, and his son looked as if he couldn’t take another step.

Felicity crouched a little, so they were eye level, and whispered. “We’re right here.”

And those three words build a confidence in his son, that Oliver didn’t think he could have duplicated at that age.

William’s steps were still tentative, but he walked closer to Samantha’s bedside, his eyes scanning each and every piece of equipment in the room.

The sheets rustled as Samantha came to, her eyes glassy and unfocused, but she smiled all the same. Like she could just sense the boy there.

“Hey slugger.” Her voice was heavy with the medication, but she made every effort to look directly at William. “How are you?”

William broke, falling into a heap right against the blankets on his mother’s bed. And Oliver watched as Samantha took the strength she had and lifted her hand to his head.

“Hey now, it’s gonna be okay.”

William shook his head, lifting his gaze to his mom. “I don’t want you to go.”

“Will, I don’t wanna go either,” she whispered, latching her hand to his. She looked up at him and Felicity, giving them a smile as best she could. “But I think if I have to go, I’m leaving you in the best hands.”

“I can’t do this without you,” his son said, and Oliver had never seen him as more of a small boy than he had in that moment.

“You’re never without me,” Samantha’s words were growing faint, but the power in them vibrated through Oliver.

His mother had said that once, more than a decade ago. And as much as he wished his mom could be with him, he knew the truth in those words.

“I love you, Mom.”

“I love you too, baby,” she said placing a hand to his cheek. “I always will.”

“I’m going to miss you.”

“I know.”

She was crying, but Oliver figured none of them had been able to hold back the tears at this point.

“You watch out for him,” Samantha said, her gaze flicking up towards them again.

Oliver almost replied before Felicity spoke up. “Until my dying day.”

“Thank you.”

Samantha’s eyes drooped closed again, the beeping faint in the background. Will was still pressed against his mother’s hand, and he didn’t have the heart to move him. He didn’t know if Samantha would wake again, or if soon she’d slowly fade from them. But he knew that William needed these moments next to his mom, and he wouldn’t deny his son that.

“Are you thinking about Moira?” Felicity asked, but her eyes never left William.

“And my dad,” he replied keeping his voice low. “I just wouldn’t have ever wanted us to have this in common.”

“It’s different though,” she said, leaning against him. “Enough that you’ll understand, but it will be hard too.”

“We’ll get through it.”

“Together.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was supposed to only be a oneshot. Obviously I have already failed step one, so who knows if there will be a part 3. But let's just focus on this one for now. 
> 
> Your response to the last part was amazing. I was floored by how many amazing people commented on it. So I just wanted to explore this mini verse a little bit more. And see how Oliver and Felicity would navigate being parents to an 11 year old who is very much struggling with the pain in his life. 
> 
> I hope you guys like this one too. And without further ado, I'll let you read it now.

“No, don’t!”

The scream torn through the loft and had Oliver bolting up at the sound. He had barely laid down, just getting in from breaking up a gang fight with the team, and he had a meeting with councilman Andrews at nine am. But there was no way he could ignore it.

“I’ll go check on him,” Felicity said, her voice thick with sleep, but she was already moving from her pillow.

“It’s okay, I got it,” he dropped a kiss to her forehead. “Go back to sleep.”

It had been happening on and off for the last couple months. Every time they thought Will was doing better and adjusting ,they’d have another night like this. He couldn’t fault his son. The horrors of Lian Yu had haunted Oliver for years after he came home, even still to this day. But hoped there was something he could do to ease things for him.

“Hey buddy,” he said pushing the door open.

Will was sitting up in bed, his breathing coming in shallow puffs. “I’m sorry.”

It was enough to break Oliver’s heart all over again. “You don’t have to be sorry,” He moved into the room, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Will was chewing the corner of his lip, a nervous tick Oliver didn’t doubt came from Samantha. He was glad for that. Even if it seemed small William deserved to have things that came solely from his mother. Things he’d be able hold onto as he got older.

Will gave a firm head shake, pulling his blankets back up. “I’m okay.”

But Oliver knew better. He could see the fear in his son’s eyes. It was the same look that flashed in his mind every time he recalled the events that happened at the beginning of the summer, the tragic wave that brought too much darkness to his innocent boy.

“You know it’s alright if you’re not?” he asked shifting to face Will better. “Felicity and I, we understand that all this is hard. And we would never want you to hide your feelings, or pretend that you’re okay if you really need to talk.”

“I know.” But he didn’t sound convinced. He took another shaking breath before he spoke. “I just… It was a bad dream.”

“About your mom?” They had agreed to keep talking about Samantha with Will. Felicity thought it was important to keep her memory alive, and he agreed. The pain would always be there whether they were open about it or not, and he didn’t want his son to think he couldn’t talk about her.

“Not really,” He met Oliver’s eyes. “I’m fine now. Can we talk about it later?”

“Will--”

“I said I was fine, Oliver,” he threw the blankets over his head and turned to face the opposite wall.

He hadn’t seen his son angry much. Just flashes of it that would flair up when he was too tired or too emotional. Oliver understood that more than anything else. He got a lot from his mother, but his personality was all Queen. And Oliver was sure one day it would really bite back, but right now he knew his son was just hiding something from him.

“Okay.”

He didn’t want to give in. He wanted to sit there all night until Will turned around and talked to him. But he also knew that was unlikely to happen. Oliver stood up, leaned over, and placed a kiss on Will’s forehead. Usually he’d roll his eyes, or duck out of the way, but sometimes he’d go still and let his father in. Oliver was just lucky tonight was one of those times.

“Good night, Will.”

“Night,” he replied. Whatever tension or anger had been there seemed to evaporate as his son’s eyes slipped closed.

Oliver slipped out of the room, sparing another glance at his son, before he padded down the hall and back towards his own room.

Felicity was up when he entered, her tablet in her hands and her fingers typed furiously across the screen. But when she heard him she looked up with a tired smile.

“How is he?”

“I told you you should get some sleep,” he said dropping down on his side of the bed.

She leaned over, dropping a kiss to his lips. “Yeah, sure that was likely to happen.”

Oliver sighed, as he settled in against his pillow. “I don’t know how to help him, Felicity. This waking up in the middle of the night, scared out of his mind. It’s not good for him.”

“We could broach the subject of a counselor again,” she set the tablet down on her side table, shifting until she faced him. “Lyla said she ARGUS had some good ones.”

“I know, but the last time,” he shook his head running a hand down his face. “He looked so betrayed.”

They had tried to get Will to see a therapist about a month before. Oliver was getting so worried because Will hadn’t cried since the hospital. But that day when they walked into the waiting room, he thought his son would never look at him the same again.

“Then we actually talk to him about it first,” she ran her hand down his arm, linking their fingers together. “Oliver the honest thing works with me, but you have to make it work with Will too.”

“I know.” But he didn’t. He didn’t know how to navigate this, how to handle what Will was going through. He had been 29 when he lost his mother, 24 when he lost his father. He didn’t know what it was like to be a kid and feel like your whole life had broken around you. “I just wish he didn’t have to dream about losing her too.”

“Oliver,” she whispered, looking at him with a soft smile. “Do you think maybe, just maybe, this isn’t about Samantha.”

He gave her a look of confusion, his brows knitting together. “What do you mean?”

“Will’s been doing really well,” she sat up but turned to she was facing him. “He’s liking his new school, he and Zoe have become fast friends, he’s building a life here, with us.”

“Yeah, and?”

“And every couple of weeks,” she took a deep breath, and rested a hand over his. “When we both have worked all day and then spend most of the night at the bunker, he has a nightmare.”

He let his mind replay the evidence, the times his son’s screams had cut through the air, or when Oliver could hear him get up in the middle of the night, the dark circles that sometimes graced the boy’s face the next day. Oliver had seen this all, but he had missed it somehow as well. He had missed the signs right in front of him.

“He’s not having nightmares about Samantha dying.”

“I mean he probably is,” she said taking a deep breath. “But I think sometimes, a lot of the times, he’s afraid we won’t make it home.”

She was probably right. The more he let the thought in the more likely it was true. Will had watched his mother fade away right in front of him, because of something someone terrible had done. How could he possibly ignore the fact that every night he left his own kid to wonder if he’d make it back home to him.

“What are we gonna do?” He looked to her for guidance, for the support he wasn’t sure he was strong enough to build on his own.

“It’s a tough one, what with there not being many parenting books for vigilantes,” she quipped, giving him a grin. “But I think it’s best we take it one step at a time. We talk to Will, ask him how he’s feeling about the whole thing. We could see if taking him to the bunker--”

“No,” Oliver cut her off, as he sat up. “I don’t want him down there.”

“It could help.”

“Being closer to the violence in our lives is gonna help him?”

“No, but him seeing what we do, how we do it, it might give him some perspective.”

“Or it will remind him that his father’s life is what got his mother killed.”

He moved to get out of bed, but Felicity grabbed ahold if him, tugging until he faced her. “Hey, we promised we’d stop doing that. No walking away when we need to talk, remember?”

His face fell, shaking his head as she laid a hand on his cheek. “He already blames me for Samantha.”

“Oliver he doesn’t.”

“He should.” He met her gaze, Felicity’s eyes shining back with love. “Chase was my problem, my responsibility. And I let him do this.”

“You’re upset right now, so I’m going to give you a one time pass on the ‘Oliver Queen pity train’ that has currently pulled into our bedroom, but I need you to listen to me.” she paused raising her brow. “Are you listening?”

He nodded.

“That boy loves you. He’s stubborn and wonderful, and I see so much of you in him. But he’s also a kid,” she paused, letting her fingers dance up his arm. “And even though he knows you’re a hero and that you go out every night and protect the people in this city, he probably doesn’t understand it. So we need to show him that even though it’s scary and dangerous, you will always come home to him.”

“What if it makes things worse?” He couldn’t bare the thought of his son in more pain. But then another thought flashed through his head. “What if it makes him want it?”

“Want what?”

“The hood,” he croaked, his mind flashing images of his son with a bow, on rooftops, fighting the darkness of Star City. “What if showing him all that we do, makes Will want to take up the mantle, or create his own. What if he thinks it’s the only way to heal?”

He hadn’t considered it before, that one day William could want the same life as him. That he could want to take up where team arrow would leave off.

“He’s smart,” she said, dragging a hand through his hair. “If, and that’s a big if, he ever considers this life for himself, I think he’ll do it for the right reasons. Because he’ll have us. And we have each other.”

Oliver placed his hands to her waist, moving so she was right between his legs. “How did I get so lucky?”

“It’s not luck dear,” she said, letting her arms encircle his neck. “It’s love.”

“You are so cheesy.” But he was laughing.

“Shut up, and kiss me.”

Within a few seconds Oliver had her flipped, pressing close to her as he placed a kiss to her lips, then her cheek, it only made Felicity laugh.

“I would love to keep this up,” she said tugging on his hair until their eyes met. “But we both have to be up earlier tomorrow.”

Oliver groaned, ticking his eyes to the clock. It was well after three in the morning, and if he had a meeting at nine, that gave them a little less than five hours of actual sleep. As much as he’d rather kiss every inch of his gorgeous fiancee, he let her settle back into her side of the bed, dropping back to his own pillow.

“We’ll talk to him in the morning,” Felicity said, as her eyes slipped shut. “Don’t worry so much about it.”

He shook his head, letting the exhaustion take hold of him.

\---

“Babe,” Oliver handed her a mug of coffee, and he couldn’t help but smile as she fought to keep her eyes open.

“Oh you beautiful thing.”

“Thanks, I guess.”

“Oh I was talking to the coffee,” she teased, as she reached for his hand. “But the guy’s kinda sexy too.”

He bent down, dropping a kiss to her lips.

“You two are incredibly gross, just fyi.”

They turned in unison as Will came down the stairs, rolling his eyes. He dropped his backpack next to the counter, hopping up on the barstool on the end.

“Morning, kiddo,” Felicity said, moving a plate of eggs down to him.

“Thanks,” Will yawned, looking over to Oliver. “Can I have coffee too?”

“Sure,” he replied, giving his son a grin. “When you’re seventeen.”

“Lame.” He said as he shoved a bite into his mouth.

“Hey, buddy can we talk to you?”

Will looked at him, letting his gaze slide over to Felicity next. “This isn’t going to be some kind of ‘where babies come from’ talk is it? Because mom covered that a couple years ago.”

“No,” Felicity said quickly, shaking her head. “But, um, later we should probably, revisit that. Just to make sure--”

“Felicity.”

“Right that’s not we want to talk about,” she gave Oliver’s hand a squeeze, tilting her head towards Will.

“We wanted to talk to you about the nightmares.”

He wasn’t sure which one of them looked more nervous, and if it wasn’t for her hand in his, Oliver was sure he would have backed out by now.

“What about them?” Will kept his eyes on his plate.

Felicity turned her stool, nudging him with her foot. “We just want to make sure you know that no matter what they’re about, you can come to your dad or me. Or if you don’t think you can talk to us about them we can find you someone to talk to.”

“You mean a shrink, because I’m crazy,” Will muttered.

“That’s not true,” Oliver let go of Felicity, and moved around the bar until he was next to his son. “Everyone has a different way of dealing with this kind of stuff. Some people can talk to their family, some talk better to strangers, some write it down. But that doesn’t make you crazy Will, it makes you human.”

“They’re different every night,” Will started, setting his fork down on the countertop. “Sometimes we’re back on the island, and _he_ has both of you and my mom, and no matter how much I try and get get to you guys. Other times it’s just the stuff I hear on TV, but worse. I wake up and for a minute it’s so quiet I don’t know where I am. And I think maybe…”

Oliver pulled his son to him, relishing in the feel of Will in his arms. He told Felicity once that William was the purest part of him, and he wished he could keep him from these kinds of thoughts. But he knew he couldn’t keep Will from the world around them. He could protect him though.

Will sucked in a breath as he looked pulled back and he turned his head slightly until he faced could look at Felicity. “What if you guys don’t come home?”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

It took him by surprised at how unwavering she was in her words. Felicity was so fierce and protective over his boy, and Oliver couldn’t help but be in awe of her.

“You can’t make that kind of promise,” Will shook his head. “Mom told me the same thing, and she’s gone now. So you can’t promise me you’ll always come home.”

“Will,” he dropped to a crouch, turning the stool so his son looked at him. “You’re right, we can’t promise that we know what’s going to happen. And I wish I could give you a guarantee that we will always make it back home. But I can promise you two things. The first is that no matter what happens, no matter how dangerous it gets out there, Felicity and I will fight with everything in us to come home to you. I haven’t always had the right things to fight for,” he paused flashing a look at his fiancee. “But now I do. And I’m never giving them up without one hell of a fight.”

His son nodded, taking in a deep breath and Felicity wrapped an arm around him.

“And the second thing?”

Oliver smiled, recalling the last time he heard those words. In all that time the answer hadn’t really changed.

“I love you,” he rose up and pulled them both close, wrapping the two most important pieces of his world in his arms. “I love you both. And that will never change.”

Even with Will pressed between them, and how small his voice was, Oliver still heard it clear as day as he whispered. “Thanks Dad.”


End file.
